25 Apr “He Sees, He Knows” by Melissa Mitchell
I tend to be fairly practical about my faith in God. I don’t notice many signs or dramatic encounters with God. However, in recent months I’ve had two very tangible ways that I experienced the presence of God during times of difficulty. The past few months or so have seemed extra tough for me. My son has Autism and this presents some unique struggles. I find that accepting his diagnosis and the reality of it is an ongoing process.
It was right before Christmas when I received a call from his school for an “emergency meeting”. That certainly upped my anxiety level. During the meeting I learned that they wanted to transfer him from his public school that he had been at for several years to a private school that specializes in Autism. I was surprised and I was deeply saddened. It was discouraging to realize that the teachers in his self contained classroom could no longer care for him.
I cried during the entire meeting and I cried a few weeks later throughout the meeting with people from his new school. I’m not sure why it impacted me on such a deep level but it did. I felt afraid of the change to come and how my son would deal with it.
On the way home as I felt the weight of the meeting upon me, a song came on in the car. It is by Zach Williams and its called Chain Breaker.
If you’ve got pain
He’s a pain taker
If you feel lost
He’s a way maker
If you need freedom or saving
He’s a prison–shaking Savior
If you’ve got chains
He’s a chain breaker
Well, I really started to cry then. But, it was as if God reached out to say to me – “I will make a way”. I felt a renewed sense of hope, comfort, and peace.
It was probably only a month or so later – I had had a very difficult time getting my son on the bus. The morning had been stressful and chaotic. I was feeling discouraged and defeated as I turned from the bus and walked back to my door. As tears ran down my face, I spotted a crocus coming up from the ground, just starting to open. It was the first flower in our garden of the season. It was as if God whispered to me – “I see you. I see your struggle.” I don’t know why seeing that flower impacted me so much, but it did. I think it was the surprise of it, a gentle reminder that God has plans for me that I do not know.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
When I am alone, when I am disheartened, God sees me. He knows my struggle and pain. He will provide a way even if the road seems bumpy and unclear.